This article is a transcript of the Teen Titans Go! episode "The Return of Slade" from season 2, which aired on July 28, 2015.

Beast Boy
Little girl
Titans Tower
Lil Alfred's Toy Cave
Plot Point
X-treme chemical
This transcript is complete..


[The episode begins with the crab outside Titans Tower. Inside, Starfire is laying on the couch, Raven and Beast Boy are watching Pretty Pretty Pegasus, and Cyborg is knitting.]
Butterbean: Woo-hoo! Yay!
[As Jelly Roll shakes his butt, the TV thumps and shatters, revealing Robin has punched through the wall and screen. The crime alert blares.]
Robin: Titans! Crime alert!
Cyborg: Yeah, so call the police.
Starfire: I believe the number is nine and the one and the one in that order.
Robin: You don't understand. It's Slade.
[The Titans gasp.]
Raven: Slade!
Robin: That’s right. Slade. Our greatest villain has returned to settle the score.
Beast Boy: Are we ready for this?
Robin: I don't know, but we have no choice. Titans, go!
[A screen says, "three episodes and a made-for-TV-movie later." The Titans, battered and bruised, return to the tower.]
Cyborg: Whoo-hoo! I can't believe what just happened!
Robin: The menace known as Slade [takes out Slade's mask.] has been vanquished once and for all! [throws the mask down.] Oh, yeah!
[Disco music begins playing as the Titans cheer.]
Starfire: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Raven: And it wasn't just the fight that was amazing, in the end, so many compelling storylines came together and resolved in such a satisfying way.
Starfire: A perfect balance of the action and drama. Along with light moments of the comedy!
Robin: And I finally got that kiss!
Starfire: [Giggles.]
Beast Boy: Well, it's too bad people will never see any of it.
Cyborg: No! That's a good thing, bro. It was just too epic!
Robin: You know what, Titans? After saving the world, I think we've earned ourselves a party!
[The Titans talk excitedly, overlapping sentences.]
Beast Boy: Whipped cream!
Raven: Oh, whoo!
Robin: We'll have food, dancing, and any type of entertainment you guys want! A DJ? Rock band? Magician? You name it!
Beast Boy and Cyborg: A clown!
Raven: What?
Cyborg: We said ...
Beast Boy and Cyborg: A clown!
Starfire: Please, what is the clown?
Robin: This is a clown, Star. [Holds up a picture of a clown.]
Starfire: [Screams. Flies to a corner.] What do they do? What do they do? [Breathes heavily.]
Raven: Well, they entertain small children.
Starfire: [As she slams Robin against a door.] Who would let such a creature near a child?
Beast Boy: No, Star. Clowns are the coolest!
Cyborg: Yeah! We loved clowns since we were kids!
Beast Boy: So cool, and they have that great music!
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Vocalize clown music.]
Beast Boy: When I hear that, I know it means good times! Or the ice cream truck.
Cyborg: So, yeah, clowns.
Beast Boy: We haven't seen one in years!
Raven: Yeah, clowns are great for little kids! You guys are too old for clowns.
Cyborg: Oh, yeah? How’s season six of Pretty Pretty Pegasus?
Raven: Oh, my gosh! [A scene from the series begins playing.] Well, Butterbean and Sparkleface have to save King Jellybean who has been frozen in cake frosting and ...
Butterbean and Sparkleface: [Scream upon seeing King Jellybean.]
Raven: [Clears throat.] That's completely different.
Robin: [Sighs.] So, I'm really going to hire a clown?
Starfire: Oh, no, no! No, no, please! Please, do not do it! I beg of you!
Beast Boy and Cyborg: A clown!
Starfire: [Stunned by the thought of a clown as evil laughter plays.]
Robin: A clown it is.
[During the party, disco music begins playing. Beast Boy and Cyborg are drinking punch and on the couch while Raven and Starfire talk nearby.]
Robin: Attention, Titans. I know we're all having a good time but the [clears throat.] clown is here.
Clown: [Laughs.]
Starfire: [Screams and hides in a plant.]
Cyborg: [Laughs excitedly.]
Beast Boy: Oh, yeah!
Cyborg: This is gonna be so good!
Clown: [Laughs goofily. Throws pins into the air and they fall on him.] Ow!
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Smiles fade.]
Clown: [Laughs while he rides a small tricycle and falls off.]
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Glance at each other in confusion.]
Clown: [Hits a pie onto his face.]
Beast Boy: Wait a minute. This clown is horrible!
Cyborg: Yeah. Why you doing lame kiddy stuff?
Clown: [His pants fall off whenever he picks them up.]
Beast Boy and Cyborg: Boo!
Raven: I told you, you're too old for clowns.
Clown: [Kicking his legs to the side as he is down to half a head in his pants.]
Beast Boy: No, it's him! This is not the way we remember his act!
Robin: Guys, this is a classic clown act! Look at the shoes, the nose, the makeup.
Cyborg: No way! This clown is for kids!
Raven: Yes! Clowns are for kids!
Beast Boy: When I was a kid, clowns were way cooler!
Cyborg: They had depth and meaning!
Beast Boy: This clown is garbage. Kids today don't know what they're missing.
Cyborg: You know, maybe we can fix him. Make him as cool as he used to be.
Robin: Clowns were never cool. You're letting nostalgia cloud your memory.
Raven: Guys. Kids' entertainment is not something to be messed with. It's sacred. I worry that altering this clown could have disastrous consequences!
Beast Boy: Sorry, mama, but we're making this clown cool again.
[Cyborg uses his extended arm to grab the clown and he and Beast Boy run off. That night, the two strap the clown to a table in a laboratory.]
Cyborg: Man, look at this clown.
Beast Boy: I know. He looks like some kind of clown!
Cyborg: What a disgrace! But we'll just dress him up like we remember him.
Beast Boy: I don't really remember what he looked like, bro. Just that he was cool!
Cyborg: Then let's make him cool!
Beast Boy: With science! [To the clown.] Just sign this here waiver stating that we can do anything we want to your mind, body, and spiritual being.
Cyborg: [Presses the clown's flower, causing ink to sign the waiver.]
Beast Boy: Thanks, bro.
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Both laugh maniacally.]
[Beast Boy and Cyborg write on a chalkboard and then create a chemical solution. They squeeze a drop onto a spider, making it cute. They try again and, after another drop, the spider becomes menacing. The clown is tied to a rope and lowered in the X-treme-ification Chamber. The next day, Raven is playing with a Pretty Pretty Pegasus doll while Robin tries to get Starfire from under the couch.]
Robin: The clown's gone, Star. It's safe to come out. [Makes kissing noises and pats the floor.]
Starfire: Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[Beast Boy and Cyborg wheel a platform with a tarp covering the clown.]
Beast Boy: You guys!
Cyborg: We made our clown cool again!
Starfire: Keep him away from me! [Hisses and retreats further under the couch.]
Beast Boy: Check it! [Uncovers the tarp, revealing the menacing clown.]
Clown: [Laughs maniacally.]
Starfire: [Screams and flies through the roof. She dives into the ocean and comes out underneath the rocks, panting.]
Robin: Doesn't look very funny to me.
Cyborg: Oh, yeah?
Beast Boy: Do your act, yo.
Clown: [Growls. Picks up Robin.]
Robin: Ahhh! [Is thrown onto the TV.] The clown is trying to kill me! [Is choked by the clown and then thrown onto the window. Groans. Is sprayed with a chemical.] It burns! [Is punched by the clown.]
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Laugh.]
Cyborg: Oh, it's like a pie to the face! But cooler!
Robin: [Is punched by clown.]
Beast Boy: Told you, clowns are funny!
Raven: Guys! This is wrong! [Chuckles.] Okay, it's a little funny. But still wrong! You've taken something that's meant to be for kids and made it totally inappropriate just so you can still enjoy something you should have outgrown!
Beast Boy: We just made him like we remember!
Cyborg: And now, we're gonna release him so he can spread joy to all the kids in the world!
Raven: That clown's not for children. And I'm worried what the influence of something like that could have on all kids' entertainment!
Cyborg: What? You worried it's gonna make it better? [Extends the Xtreme-ifier to Beast Boy.]
Beast Boy: [Grabs the Xtreme-ifier.] Yo, clownie! Get out of here and go make some kids happy!
Clown: [Takes the Xtreme-ifier and rolls through the side of Titans Tower. Laughs manically and a unicycle is activated with jet rockets to transport him to Jump City.]
Robin: [Groans.]
Raven: [On her bed.] Time for the latest episode of Pretty Pretty Pegasus!
[Raven summons her laptop and begins selecting an option when the screen is covered in green ooze.]
Butterbean: King Jellybean has betrayed us! We may never eat candy again.
Sparkleface: I don't want any filthy candy! I just want blood! [Laughs maniacally.]
Butterbean and Sparkleface: [Growl while standing on a pile of bones.]
Raven: [Gasps.] What is this? This is supposed to be a kids' show! What's happened?
Clown: [Appears on the screen.] Ha, ha, ha!
Raven: The clown.
[The clown uses his rocket-propelled unicycle to fly to Lil Alfred's Toy Cave. He places a bomb on the door that counts down from ten. Inside, a little kid is laughing. The doors explode and the clown enters. He sprays Pretty Pretty Pegasus toys and they turn red and attack the little girl, who runs off screaming. The clown laughs and sprays a teddy bear which transforms into a menacing real life bear. Kids scream and the clown laughs and sprays a TV, turning the puppet show menacing. The clown continues spraying while kids scream. At Titans Tower, Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven are watching the clown's actions from the TV.]
Robin: How dastardly! If that clown has his way, all children's entertainment will be tainted!
Cyborg: I guess we lost sight of what made clowns cool in the first place as being age-appropriate entertainment.
Beast Boy: We can't hold on to our childhood forever. Things change.
Raven: Well, it's time to grow up.
Cyborg: Are we going in guns blazing?
Raven: No. The only way to stop him is to remind him of who he truly is.
Robin: Titans, go!
[The T-Jet flies to Lil Alfred Toy's Cave and releases a missile into the store that causes a toy car to come out and drive to the clown. Robin, Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg exit the car, confusing the clown.]
Robin: [Vocalizes clown music and throws pins into the air that falls on him.] Ow! Ow! Ow!
Clown: [Laughs.]
Beast Boy: [Kicks Robin.]
Clown: [Laughs.]
Beast Boy and Cyborg: [Beast Boy rides a unicycle while Cyborg rides a small tricycle. The two crash into each other.]
Clown: [Laughs.]
Raven: [Throws a pie onto her face.]
Clown: [Laughs and falls onto the floor, kicking.]
Robin: It's working! Now, for the big finish!
[The Titans vocalize clown music. Cyborg jumps up and down, his pants coming on and off. Raven sprays Robin with water from a flower. Beast Boy, standing on his head, spins on the floor. The clown laughs until he stops, causing the Titans to gasp.]
Clown: Thanks for the laughs, Titans.
Robin: This was a horrible plan, Raven. Why did you think this would work?
Raven: [Squeezes her clown nose, causing it to honk.]
Cyborg: Children's entertainment is doomed!
Clown: [Laughs manically, but honks when his nose is punched and falls.]
Robin: Starfire?
Starfire: I will never trust the clowns.

Episode ends.

See also