|This transcript is complete.|
- [Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire are sitting on the couch, bored. Robin, carrying two suitcases, walks past them.]
- Robin: Sorry, Titans. No time to chit-chat. I'm off on a secret mission. That's right. I'm heading out now on classified work. No questions, please. [The Titans don't respond.] It's top top tippity-top secret. [Clears throat.]
- Raven: [Humoring him.] Oh, where are you going, Robin?
- Robin: [Pleased.] Huh? How many times do I have to tell you: IT'S TOP SECRET!
- Beast Boy: Okay.
- Starfire: Goodbye.
- Cyborg: Have fun.
- Robin: If you need me, I'll just be at the ... Batcave.
- [The Titans' eyes widened. They jump in the air in shock.]
- Beast Boy: Batcave? Can I come?
- Cyborg: What about me? What about me?
- Starfire: I would also like to visit.
- Raven: Beats hanging around here.
- Robin: [As the Titans surround him and ask if they can come.] Uh uh. Nope. Uh uh. Nope. I'm the only one Batman trusts on this super important mission. [Throws his red suitcase in the air, causing it to transform into the R-cycle. The Titans are still entranced by the prospect of going. Robin boards the R-cycle and picks up the yellow suitcase.] Besides, you Titans are needed here. [Throws the yellow suitcase in the air and it transforms into a motorcycle helmet.] Someone might jaywalk. [Rides the motorcycle out the window and across the country until reaching the Batcave. He approaches a cave and places his hand on a device.] Robin. [The device beeps.] Robin. [The device beeps. Robin clears his throat. ] The, uh, Boy Wonder.
- Device: Voice recognition activated. Boy Wonder. [Laughs.]
- Robin: [Drives R-cycle into the Batcave. Hops off and looks at the cave on a ledge.] All right, let's get to work. [Lands by the Batcomputer. He opens his DCUbook page and starts liking statuses. The screen beeps.] Huh? What's this? [Opens a message and reads.] Dear Boy Wonder [Grunts.] Thanks for cave-sitting. Help yourself to some juice. XOXO Batman.
- Beast Boy: Oh, snap. Juice!
- Robin: [Shocked.] Wha-what? How did you get in the Batcave? Passed all the alarms, the sensors, booby traps? [Turns to see Starfire is taking pictures and Cyborg looking around.]
- Raven: You left the door open.
- Robin: [Grunts.]
- Beast Boy: [Tapping buttons.] I thought you said this was an important mission, du [Is hit by the staff.] Ah!
- Robin: This is an important mission.
- [The crime alert begins to blare.]
- Starfire: Huh, is that the crime alert?
- Robin: No. It's time to feed .. the fish. No time to lose. Must act fast.
- [Robin leaps over the Titans, grabs the fish food, and begins spraying the flakes into the bowl. The Titans laugh and he drops the container into the bowl. The Titans are looking at a picture.]
- Beast Boy: For real?
- [The picture is of Batman and Robin.]
- Starfire: What is with the short shorts?
- Robin: [Grabs the picture and places it back on the shelf.] Come on, come on, come on, you can't be in here. I have strict orders from Batman.
- Beast Boy: [Jumps onto Robin.] Don't worry, bro. We'll leave. But first, let's check this place out. [Transforms into a bat and flies away. Places a lamp onto the floor, creating a shadow of a bat on the floor.]
- Robin: [Looks up.] Get down from there.
- Raven: [Hanging upside down with the bats.] Just ignore him guys.
- Robin: [Angered, but shocked as bataranags lands beside him which are thrown by Cyborg.] Don't lose those! Two, three, four. [A shadow overlaps him. Starfire, dressed in Batgirl's costume entrances Robin. He shakes his head to clear it.] Take that off.
- Starfire: But, the costume is too tight to remove.
- [Robin becomes entranced once more, but snaps out of it when he spots Beast Boy, as a tyrannosaurus rex, battling a remote-controlled tyrannosaurus rex controlled by Cyborg. The mechanical dinosaur is injured.]
- Robin: No, no, no! That is not a toy. [Tries to grab the remote control from Cyborg, but he pulls away.]
- Cyborg: It's a giant remote-controlled dinosaur robot. Of course it's a toy! [The mechanical dinosaur's head crashes onto the ground.] Oh. [He and Beast Boy, back as a human, spot the Ultimate Batarang.] The Ultimate Batarang.
- Beast Boy: I thought it was just a myth.
- Cyborg: [Reaches for the Ultimate Batarang, but is kicked by Robin.] Ow.
- Robin: No one is allowed to touch the Ultimate Batarang. This is Batman's most prized possession. If anything happened to it, he'd kill me. Now, let's all ...
- Cyborg: [Breaks the glass display case and grabs the Ultimate Batarang.]
- Beast Boy: Awesome!
- Cyborg: [Throws the Ultimate Batarang.]
- Beast Boy: [Transforms into a dog to catch it.]
- Robin: [Screams. He impersonates Batman.] Well, well, well, what happened here? [As himself.] I'm so so sorry, so so so sorry, Batman. [As Batman.] I leave you in charge for one day and what do you do. [As himself.] I didn't mean to let you down. [As Batman.] What are we going to do with him, Alfred? [As Alfred.] Well, I don't know, sir. [As himself.] Please just give me another chance. [As Batman, he slaps himself and lands on the ground.]
- [Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven, surrounded by bats, surround Robin.]
- Raven: He has some major issues. [Uses her powers to pick up Robin.]
- Cyborg: Why are you so scared of Batman, anyway?
- Robin: Ha! Wha-? Scared? Come on, me? No way.
- Beast Boy: I think it's cause Batman used to be your boss so you still do whatever he says.
- Robin: It's not like that at all. We're peers now. We work together, side by side.
- Raven: You mean you're his sidekick.
- Robin: I am nobody's sidekick!
- Cyborg: Yet you ride in a sidecar. [Gestures to a sidecar.]
- Beast Boy: On a side note, maybe you should grow some sideburns.
- Robin: [Grows sideburns.]
- Raven: Or go see a sideshow.
- Robin: [Dons a green wig and clown nose.]
- Starfire: Ooh, would you like a side of the fries with that?
- Robin: [Catches a tray of fries. Removes the objects.] Oh, you're so funny because you're just saying side a lot.
- Cyborg: [Laughs.] I know. We're so hilarious.
- [The crime alert begins to blare.]
- Starfire: Robin, quickly, feed the fish!
- Robin: [At the Batcomputer.] It's not the fish. It's the H.I.V.E.!
- Cyborg: [Looking at a wall with Batman's gadgets.] Think we should?
- Raven: [Looking at a different part of the wall.] Definitely should.
- Beast Boy: [Raising the Ultimate Batarang.] Very should.
- Starfire: The should!
- Robin: Shouldn't. [The Titans head to the wall and each grab different weaponry and raise them. Spots Beast Boy.] Not the Ultimate Batarang!
- Beast Boy: Hey! We might need it.
- [Beast Boy throws the Ultimate Batarang and Cyborg catches it while he, Raven, and Batman's bats wait in the Batmobile. Starfire drops off another weapon and places Robin inside before closing the hood and resting on top of it.]
- Cyborg: Let's see how this baby handles.
- [In the streets of Jump City, Jinx engulfs a police cruiser and van and causes them to explode. Billy Numerous makes multiple duplicates to tip over a van before recalling them. See-More destroys the van with a laser at the top of a building. Gizmo sets the timer to bombs strapped onto a radio tower. See-More spots the Batmobile approaching and the H.I.V.E. gather to watch with dread. Starfire jumps in front of the Batmobile as it opens, revealing the Titans, replacing the H.I.V.E.'s fear with anger.]
- Gizmo: The Titans?!
- Cyborg: [Jumps.] Let's do this!
- [Cyborg shoots a batarang and Billy Numerous duplicates twice. One hits him in the head, causing him to fall.]
- Robin: [Lowers the seat.] Ah, the H.I.V.E. can wait. Gotta get back Batman's equipment. [Runs off. Cyborg throws bataranag.] Cyborg, no! [Grabs a batarang off the floor, gets another from a window, retrieves one that's stuck on a lady's wig, and grabs one off a circuit board, electrocuting him.] Three, four. Wh-where's the fifth one? Wait, let me recount. One, two, three, where's the fifth one?! [Billy Numerous taps Robin's shoulder, and gestures to a Batarang that has him pinned.] Aha! [Robin grabs it, freeing Billy Numerous.] There you are! Come to papa! [Realizes he freed Billy Numerous. Gizmo summons two mechanical claws and Beast Boy transforms into an octopus. He raises Beast Boy into the air and slams him on the Batmobile, fracturing it.] BEAST BOY! Ah! [Pushes Beast Boy, who yelps.] What did you do?! [Wipes the Batmobile.] Uh, this should come right out. Uh! [Gizmo and Beast Boy watch until Gizmo summons a cannon that traps Beast Boy in a net. Robin notices bats flying around See-More. He whistles, causing them to stop.] You know the rules. Go home! [The bats fly off.]
- [See-More encases Raven in a green bubble. Jinx runs until Starfire lands in front of her and shoots eyebeams. Jinx dodges and fires hex blasts which Starfire avoids. She attempts to shoot eyebeams, but the cape lands in front of her eyes, distracting her for Jinx to shoot a hex blast that sends her spiraling. Gizmo flies to the bomb.]
- Cyborg: Not so fast. [Shoots a batarang that acts as a retractable grappling hook.] Whoo!
- [Robin throws a birdarang, separating the rope and causing Cyborg to crash. Robin grabs the batarang and launcher and throws them into the Batmobile, alongside the rest of Batman's equipment.]
- Robin: Looks like so. I think I got most of them back. With any luck, he'll never notice. Oh oh oh, where is the ULTIMATE BATARANG?
- [The Titans are roped together.]
- Raven: They've got it.
- Gizmo: [Raises the Ultimate Batarang.]
- Robin: WE CAN'T LET THEM USE IT!
- Beast Boy: 'Cause it would kill us!
- Robin: Because Batman would kill me!
- Gizmo: [Activates the Ultimate Batarang and throws it.]
- Robin: NO! [Jumps, but misses.]
- [The Ultimate Batarang veers off course and positions itself in the sky. Lightning crackles and it begins flashing strobe lights.]
- Raven: That's the secret weapon?
- Starfire: It is not even a weapon.
- Beast Boy: Yeah, what would Batman use that for?
- [Last Tuesday. Batman and James Gordon relax on a picnic blanket as the Ultimate Batarang unleashes fireworks and flashes lights.]
- Robin: And suddenly I'm a little less scared of Batman. [Glances at the kidnapped Titans and the Batmobile.] This is going to be fun.
- [Robin grabs a cannon and shoots it, trapping Mammoth in a net. He throws batarangs that pin Billy Numerous and two duplicates. Robin launches another batarang that expands into a cage and encases Gizmo. He shoots a grappling hook that grabs Jinx by the legs and yanks her away. Robin throws smoke pellets that blinds See-More then punches him with a golden ring, breaking the villain's mechanical eye. The Titans, free, cheer as Robin triumphantly holds the disabled bomb with a batarang attached to it. At the Batcave, the compartments are filled with broken objects. Beast Boy places a launcher by it, but it bends. He walks toward Cyborg, who is melding the Batmobile.]
- Beast Boy: Maybe Batman won't notice?
- [The Batmobile's engine explodes, unleashing smoke. Starfire and Raven look at it in shock as Robin smiles.]
- Raven: Are you going to be okay?
- Starfire: We could stay with you as you speak to the Batman?
- Robin: Nah, it's time I man up and tell him I am not a sidekick anymore! I'm not gonna water his plants [Kicks a plant away.] or feed his fish. [The fish are dead from being overfed.] I mean, seriously, you just sprinkle it in. Batman is about to learn, that from now on, he is not the boss of me! [A silhouette of Batman appears.] Ah! I didn't mean it Batman! I'll clean all this up! Please don't be mad!
- Beast Boy: [Carrying Batman's suit pass a light.] Uh, dude, I was just putting this back. [Walks away.]
- Robin: Uh, who am I kidding?
- [Robin takes out a can of spray paint and decorates the Batmobile with Joker Was Here before his footsteps frantically leave the Batcave and the sound of a door slamming shut is heard.]